"A strong behavioral health component in a wellness program will enhance daily operations and maintain a high level of job performance. A mentally and emotionally fit fire fighter is an important building block in the fire service's foundation. Our uniformed personnel must be able to cope effectively with emotional, physical and mental stresses of work and personal life."
- General President Harold A. Schaitberger
Words Can Work
®: Knowing the issues, talking with kids
By Jeanne Blake
As the founder of Words Can Work
, I write about topics families have a tough time talking about. You know, young people's struggles with drugs, sex, eating disorders, depression, underage drinking and more.
The IAFF invited me to speak at the Redmond Symposium to tell how Words Can Work
DVDs and booklets can support fire fighters' families, and to show how these materials offer strategies - and the words - that help parents and children start difficult but lifesaving conversations.
The concept behind Words Can Work
is simple: kids need to talk openly about their worries. Keeping emotions bottled up can lead to trouble. As one teen recently told me, "I felt alone, like I had nobody to turn to. My mind was messed up. I started drinking and using other drugs just to forget about everything."
When kids can talk openly, they tend to make smarter choices. But many parents admit to needing help to get these conversations started.
I was grateful for a warm welcome by the fire fighters at Redmond. And I appreciated their response to my talk. One fire fighter came to me in tears. "I work with 700 fire fighters," he said, "and no one talks about this stuff. We need to."
Here are other comments from your brother and sister fire fighters:
"Family problems affect members' ability to work. It's very important to address this issue. "
"Outstanding! [presentation]. This is the next big issue for the fire service."
"This is going to be part of the backbone in the fire service so members can function in their jobs and make it to retirement."
When fire fighters are supported in raising kids who are emotionally and physically healthy, they will be less stressed and more focused and productive on the job. This is a valuable benefit to any fire department.
When fire fighters are supported in raising kids who are healthy, they will be less stressed and more focused on their job.
Tips From Words Can Work
What parents can do
Sometimes it's the little things that help to build potentially lifesaving connections.
Be available.
When you spend unstructured time with your children, with no goal other than to hang out, children feel valued and loved.
Be sure to listen more than you talk.
Really listen. Put down your newspaper, TV clicker, and cell phone. Show that you're paying attention with a nod or an encouraging comment. Say: "Tell me more about that."
Talk with your children. Not at them.
Ask simple questions. For example: "What would you do in that situation?" You can help your child think through how he or she is making decisions.
Try to not criticize.
Nothing shuts communication down faster than criticism. If you are quick to judge, young people will hesitate to bring you their concerns.
Remind your child often: "You are special. You are valued."
Kids need positive feedback. You can tell them you appreciate their sense of humor, their skill on the soccer field, or their ability to be a good friend. Parents often assume kids know their strengths. Maybe so. But hearing praise feels good.
Set and enforce limits.
Limits help to keep children safe. When children break the rules, they need to lose privileges such as use of their cell phone, the Internet, or the car. That may make your children angry. But you need to be able to tolerate their anger and explain that you set rules out of love, with their safety at heart.
Jeanne Blake president of Blake Works, Inc. She is an affiliated faculty member at the Division on Addictions, Cambridge Health Alliance, Harvard Medical School. For more information visit www.wordscanwork.com or call 978.282.1663.
Copyright ® Blake Works, Inc. 2005
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